'Talk to Tasha'

Dear Tasha,

About 4 months ago, my very best friend of more than 20 years recently filed for divorced after being married for 11 years. During her separation, it was a mutual decision for her to come stay with me and we could share the bills, tell stories, relive our youth and more importantly, I would be mental support for her, during the transition from separation to divorce. The home arrangements, paying the bills, and storytelling has gone well. However, every year on my job, we have a company holiday party and can invite one guest. Long story short, after much pleading, my bestie agreed to attend, only if I let her borrow from my wardrobe. Naturally, I said yes and we attended the party and she looked absolutely stunning, in one of my dresses and received compliments all night. She has never really been a fashionista; more conservative in her style and always commented on the outfits I wear. Here in lies the problem, ever since that day, I have come home to find her wearing my clothes; a dress, blouse, scarf and even my jewelry. Although, we both wear the same size, we are proportioned very differently and I find my clothes stretched to the max. Might I also mention, she wears a very strong perfume, which doesn’t seem to wash out and intensifies my anger whenever I get a whiff of the scent. The last straw for me was when we were chatting in her bedroom and I looked in the closet, only to see several of my clothes just hanging there waiting to be worn. I am at my wits end and do not know how to handle this wardrobe bandit. Do I just take my things back and hope she gets the hint?

Signed,

Empty closet.

Dear Empty closet,

There is a simple solution to this wardrobe bandit, that you created. This is YOUR best friend of more than 20 years. You two are living as housemates, sharing stories and reliving your youth. After 20 years of friendship, there is nothing you should not be able to express to her, even when the situation is pertaining to her. You must keep in mind that she is dealing with a separation and pending divorce and reliving her youth and wearing some of your garments may in fact give her a new sense of freedom. It’s time for you to pull-up your big girl britches and get to the topic at hand. When you allowed her to choose an item from your closet, did you lay down the ground rules? Obviously not, otherwise she would not have felt it was okay to invade on your territory and continue to borrow items, especially after you did not put a stop to it, when you saw her wearing something of yours without prior permission. Grab a bottle of wine, have a girl session and firmly state your position about your garments and why it’s inappropriate. I’m sure she will understand and comply with your wishes. I would also, as a token of love and peace offering, give her the dress she wore to the party, because if you wore it again, people will think you are the wardrobe bandit. Heck, if you want to go a step further, do a girl’s day of shopping and assist her with picking out a few sexy pieces. Friendships are precious, rare and should be valued and it’s obvious that what you both share is a sisterhood that many women seek during their lifetime. Don’t let a dress, start some mess!

Tasha