Talk to Tasha

Dear Tasha,

I met the man of my dreams and after years of dating going through ups and downs like most couples, we moved in and started to build a solid relationship and making plans for our future. I was excited the day we decided to buy a home together and we even started talking about a family. Both of our parents get along well, our siblings enjoy spending time together and our friends as well. After purchasing our home, I thought it wouldn't be long before he popped the question, well it's been almost 3 years and he hasn't said a word. I've brought up the subject in a very casual way to get a reaction from him, but he casually changes the subject. I feel like we are getting older and it's time to settle down and make a serious commitment to one another, which involves walking down the aisle. But, obviously he doesn't seem to be in a hurry. Well, for me that all changed the day I found out I was pregnant with twins, I really started putting the pressure on him for a ring and I finally got one. The twins have arrived, and the wedding date is set. I'm as happy as a woman can get. I have my home, a fiancé, a good job and a beautiful set of twin boys. Let me fast forward to the eve of our wedding. The girls and I were out the week before the wedding celebrating my bachelorette party, and he is hanging with his boys at his bachelor party, the night before our wedding. I tried on several occasions to get him to celebrate one night during the week, but he insisted on having it the night before. Well, I was all dolled up for our wedding and waiting to walk down the aisle and he was a no show. He was found in the hotel room, in the bathroom tub-drunk and covered in glitter. I am totally embarrassed and hurt. Our wedding had to be postponed for 2 months, our family wasted their money and time, not to mention the family that came from out of town. Is this a sign that he really doesn't want to get married? He's apologize every day since it happened, and I don't know if he's sincere or if I want to continue with the marriage. I love this man with all my heart, but I don't want to become a statistic.

Signed,

Don't Want the Ring

Dear Don't Want the Ring,

This is truly an unfortunate situation and I am so sorry you had to have your wedding date ruined. I can only begin to imagine what you are dealing with. But, what I can say is; you are not the first person this has happened to, and you probably won't be the last. A good friend of mine experienced a similar situation many years ago. Her fiancé decided two weeks before the wedding that he didn't want to get married. They did, however get married the following year and have shared over 10 years of a beautiful marriage. Sometimes, men and women experience cold feet, and this can be the result; delay nuptials. It appears he just experienced too much fun during the celebration and has regretted it ever since, hence his daily apologies. If you love this man, as you say and can move pass the embarrassment of his "glitter" party then I would say move forward with your wedding plans. Life happens and love only comes once, maybe twice, so don't be discouraged by this and walk proudly down the aisle and marry your love, friend, confidant and the father of your children. Build on the relationship and I'm sure if your family love you and want to see you happy they will be there with sincere congratulations and for those who cannot return, send them two pictures; one of him at is glitter party and one of your wedding day. I wish you the best and ban glitter from the house.

Signed,

Tasha

Talk to Tasha at: [email protected]