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Mid-life and beyond is a mixed bag. On one hand, you're past the hectic childrearing years, you've (hopefully) reached some level of financial stability, and you (finally) know a thing or two about life. On the other, you're slowing down a little. You have less energy and more aches and pains. You might be doing the hard work of raising teens while also caring for aging parents. Perhaps most alarmingly, time is flying by. This should be the prime of your life, so why does it feel like it's slipping away?
The busier and more complex our lives become, the faster we perceive the passage of time. Add in the dawning realization that life isn't all that long in the first place, and it's easy to see why people hit middle age and suddenly feel like their best days are behind them.
Since (according to science) we perceive time to speed up as we age AND because the Earth is literally spinning faster than it used to, it's more important than ever to make our time really count.
Mid-life is our big chance to let the truth sink in: How we spend our time is how we spend our lives. We get to choose. And choosing mindfully begins with gratitude for what it means to be a human, how magnificent it is to be alive, how crazy it is that we get to be who we are, traveling this finite experience.
Here are some tips for seizing these years as they fly by:
DON'T lose yourself. These years can be difficult physically and emotionally. You're in your prime earning years at work, which could mean putting in long hours and managing a stressful workload. You might also be a caregiver to more than one generation of loved ones. These roles can be all-consuming and lead to burnout, anxiety, or depression. Make sure that throughout all this turbulence, you reserve time for you.
Set weekly appointments to go to a gym. Invest in self-care, whether it's massages, acupuncture, or therapy. Make time for rest. Do something you enjoy, like participating in a singing group, taking art classes, or joining a book club. You are worth the investment.
DO keep social connections strong. It's easy to let friendships and relationships with family slip away when you've got so much going on. While maintaining and nurturing those relationships can take time and energy, it's rewarding and worthwhile to stay in touch and keep social ties strong. And don't worry if you can't make a long, luxurious "girls weekend" work right now. In the throes of mid-life hecticness, it's the thought that counts.
If all you can muster is a 30-minute coffee date or even a thinking-of-you text, that's a lot better than radio silence. The idea is to let your friends know you care.
DON'T neglect exercise. Now more than ever, it's important to move your body every day. Physical activity will help ward off chronic diseases and prevent premature death. Aim to get at least 30 minutes of moderate activity five days a week. (And don't forget those ever-important muscle-building exercises!) The good news is that being active doesn't need to be boring. You can join a fitness club; take a digital yoga, barre, or cycling class; or take walks or jogs around your neighborhood. Pick a few activities you love and go all in!
DO make your mental health a top priority. The responsibilities and (dare we say) burdens of mid-life and beyond aren't for the faint of heart. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can turn up because of typical new challenges that occur in this phase of life: a cocktail of shifting hormones, tough responsibilities at home or work, the onset of chronic health issues.
If you've been thinking about reaching out for professional help, here's your sign to do so. A healthy mind and soul are necessary for a long, happy life.
Finally, DON'T succumb to bitterness or cynicism. You may feel like you've "seen it all," and there's nothing new under the sun. Or maybe you've been hurt deeply a few times (or more) over the years and you're done trusting others or trying new things. Fight the urge to wallow in bitterness or cynicism-you can easily get "stuck" in them, and they hurt you more than they protect you.
Always try to keep engaging with the mystery and wonder of life. Keep a spirit of curiosity and try to assume the best of others. When you keep an open heart and mind, you'll be surprised and even delighted every day.
But how do you keep that world-weary feeling at bay when you're worn down and gun-shy from decades of harsh experience? A big part of it is regularly reminding yourself that this universe and the fact that you're here in it at all is nothing short of miraculous.
I want people to really see how spectacular, how mind-blowing, how cool it is to be here in these amazing bodies; with these curious, brilliant minds; sharing our time with others at all the ages. Every age can and should be the best age. Usually, living a better life is not about making big changes so much as it is about just opening our eyes and hearts and senses.
Almost nine years in the making, In This Lifetime is a keepsake, a guidebook, a meditation. It's a conversation you want to linger over or return to. It's a love letter to life itself.
For more information about In This Lifetime, visit inthislifetime.life. The book is available at LT Shop.
Jill Palmquist is Life Time vice president and chief storyteller and the author of In This Lifetime, a coffee table book that celebrates the beauty and reminds us of the brevity of the human experience.
About Life Time
Life Time (NYSE: LTH) empowers people to live healthy, happy lives through its portfolio of more than 170 athletic country clubs across the United States and Canada.
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